Domestic abuse can happen to anyone regardless of race, gender, age, religion, or education level.  During the month of October, we hope you will join us in speaking up, supporting victims, and raising awareness. Below are the signs and traits that abusers can have.

What traits do abusers have in common?

  • Abusers often deny the existence or minimize the seriousness of the violence or its effect on the victim or other family members.
  • Abusers often objectify the victim and often see them as their property or sexual object.
  • Most abusers have low self-esteem and feel powerless in the real world.
  • He or she may appear to be successful, but inside they may feel inadequate.
  • Abusers may blame their violence on things such as stress, their partner’s behavior, bad days, alcohol, drugs, or other factors.
  • Abusers may be pleasant and charming between periods of violence and often seen as a “great person” to others on the outside of the relationship.

Warning signs of an abuser:

  • Extreme jealousy
  • Possessiveness
  • Unpredictability
  • A bad temper
  • Cruelty to animals
  • Verbal abuse
  • Extremely controlling behavior
  • Antiquated beliefs about roles of women and men in relationships
  • Forced sex or disregard of their partner’s unwillingness to have sex
  • Sabotage of birth control methods or refusal to honor agreed-upon methods
  • Blaming the victim for anything bad that happens
  • Sabotage or obstruction of the victim’s ability to work or attend school
  • Controlling all the finances
  • Abuse of other family members, children, or pets
  • Accusations of the victim flirting with others or having an affair
  • Control of what the victim wears and how they act
  • Demeaning the victim either privately or publicly
  • Embarrassment or humiliation of the victim in front of others
  • Harassment of the victim at work

Don’t forget to wear purple on October 21st and help us spread awareness about Domestic Violence!


Help is available 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.